Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize