I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I want her autograph on my taint
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
