Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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