take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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