Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
