My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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