This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
