she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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