Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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