I think I died a long time ago.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
