Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
