I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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