Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
