I wish they made helmets for livers.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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