I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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