DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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