when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
