Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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