I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
