My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
