Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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