i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
