once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
