"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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