No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
