# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
