i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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