Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
