Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
