around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
