He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
