I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Help. Why am I so naked?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
