office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
