I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
bring money and cleavage
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
