I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
