My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
