He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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