we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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