Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
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