"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
