Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
