that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
