"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
