I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
