i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
