Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
