smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
