it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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