Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
