They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
